Mine, Mine, Mine!

Ut Oh!  Controversy!  Proceed with caution, there is an opinion ahead. 

My thoughts are mostly about "ownership" or perceived notions of "ownership" regarding beadweaving.  That should scare quite a few peeps away!  LOL

Having been online for almost 20 years now, joining in with groups, newsgroups, email lists, online forums, you name it - that have anything to do with beading, mostly because I LOVE beaders and hanging out with them, and sharing ideas and oohing and aahing over other peoples beautiful creations, I have also managed to hear 1000 times, “I learned to bead from my Grandmother, Mom, Aunt, etc.”. 

I did, too!  And then I learned more stitches from my SIL, and even more from the Native American folks in my area who shared their knowledge freely with me….because that’s what you do.  You share what you know with others.  Especially in beadweaving.  It is how skills have been passed down from one generation to the next.

In history, most arts and crafts or even artistic skills, such as lampworking from Italy, or the Matryoshka dolls from Russia, or German brewery, or Native American basketry, Brazilian Woodworking, Japanese Origami…. I could go on and on, had skills that were passed down from generation to generation.  Many times with no written documentation.  Each successive generation was just shown how to create something and many times they added their own unique style or even additions or simplifications to the completed work.  Sometimes they were closely guarded family or cottage secrets, but many times, in order for them to continue or flourish they were shared outside of the family.  In some cases it was to ensure the preservation of a technique, in other cases it was to ensure the industry did not die out.  And many times these skills were given freely to the most eager ones who wanted to learn. 

This is not to say that charging to teach shouldn’t happen.  Obviously I am not against that either as I do it myself, and as often as I can manage.  But I also try to share things freely as well.  I have an obligation to pass on what I was taught by some.  It was part of the condition of them sharing so freely with me that I would also share freely when asked.  I have an easy vehicle for that as I’ve owned a brick and mortar bead store for 28 years.  I cannot even begin to count the amount of times I’ve shown someone how to make a proper loop on a headpin, or how to keep their tension even in beadweaving, or how to get your knots secure on a strand of pearls, or what the proper thread path is for Peyote stitch….just because they came up to me and asked.  I also cannot express how fulfilling it is to me to be able to pass along what I was taught to another.    

And in thinking about what is, or in my “opinion” should be shared freely, it brings me right back to the impetus for the blog post.  Bead weaving stitches.  My personal opinion….they don’t belong to you!  Even if you “think” you came up with some unique thread path all on your very own, chances are you are sharing it with some other mind somewhere on this planet.  Now, the design you create with that stitch….all yours.  Any words or illustrations or images you may create in order to share or teach that to someone else….ALL YOURS!  But the course that the needle and thread are taking through those bead holes??  How would you ever have a way of knowing that it has not been done before?  I mean, it could have been a mistake I made just yesterday.  Or it could be something a Zulu tribesman is fine tuning right at this very moment, or it could be something a Pomo Indian perfected 100 years ago.  You don’t know.  I don’t know.  We have no way of ever truly knowing.  So let it go.  Stop with the Mine, Mine, Mine attitude about it.  It makes you look petty, and frankly rather selfish and snide as well. 

Do you ever see a knitter talking about a stitch being hers? A master tailor saying those fine crossed over stitches belong to him?  A fiber artist claiming stake to combing two fibers into a beautiful knot?  Heck no!  They are not vain enough to presume they’re the only living soul since the dawn of man to tie a freaking knot in some thread and you shouldn’t be either! 


I am not saying that every single one of us needs to share what we know freely.  I will say that I enjoy doing it as often as I can so maybe try it once in a while and see if it fills a space in your heart as well.  What I’m truly trying to say here is that if you let go you will be amazed at what comes your way.  If you share just a little you will gain more than you can possibly contain.  If you stop with the notion that something is Mine, Mine, Mine and realize that is pretty close to impossible and instead focus your energy and attention on what you can create with those thread paths, not only will your life be more peaceful but you will also have opened your mind to more knowledge than you can possibly imagine.

Let it go….it was never yours to begin with. 

With respect,
Happy Beading All! 

Small Family Run Business....Literally!

Did you know that my business, Whimbeads.com, is a small family run business?  Literally, it is myself and my husband Shawn, our youngest daughter Shawna and her girlfriend Kayla, Maria who works part-time packaging and Joan our accountant of about 20 years.  And once in a while when we’re getting ready for a big show we’ll also call in other family members and former employees to help us package up beads.

With this staff we manage to operate a retail store (Out On A Whim), run a fairly successful mail-order business, operate a wholesale division of our business and do trade shows.  Oh, and I also teach beading as often as I can manage to make it work. 

Our customer service department is us.  Our technical website maintenance is us (unless I need to call the hosting company for help).  The photographer is Shawn.  The buyer is usually me for new product and whoever has a free moment to get an order placed to restock.  The janitor and handyman is Shawn.  The people filling your orders are mainly Kayla and Shawna.  Those two, along with me, are the ones who process your orders and invoice them.  We also check each other’s work prior to shipping.  The main person in the mail-order packing department is Shawn with Kayla helping him catch up. They jockey for position on who gets to put the smiley face on the box.  Shawn builds all of our displays for the store and shows.  Maria keeps the product in order and displayed neatly so we can find things.  I create all of the labels and come up with all of the names for the beads. Shawna replies to about 75% of the emails during the week, or when I’m home working on the website or creating product for new classes/kits.  Whoever is closest to the register when you’re ready to check out is the person who rings up the sale. 

So why am I sharing this?
So that you will know that when you go online and complain, prior to having even called or emailed and given us a chance to help you, you are not only directly hurting my feelings and/or the feelings of my family, but you are also causing damage to a small family run business who works hard 7 days a week to make an honest living. 

Please consider that there is a human being on the other side of that order and at least give us an opportunity to make things right before you assume that we don’t care.   We care more than you can possibly imagine.  We take great pride in how hard we work each day.  And we also take great pride in knowing that we give 100% of our energy to each and every customer.  But you should know that we are still just human, and subject to human error.

And since we are in the business of selling beads to make a living, trust me when I tell you that is our ultimate goal with every single customer.  We do our best to keep items in stock so that when you need them we have them for you.  If we run out, it is just as upsetting for us as it is for you. 

If we didn’t care we most certainly would not still be in business 28 years later having raised four children solely on the income we generate by working as hard as we possibly can selling beads.

Thanks for listening and considering. 

PS....I tried hard to not sound defensive so I could share this with you.  But it is hard when your feelings have been hurt to not feel just a wee bit defensive of something you love so much, which is my family and my business. 

A Plea To My Fellow Bead Store Owners

Dear fellow Bead Store Owners,

This letter is an appeal to each and every one of you to please pay careful attention to how you conduct your business.  While we are each our own unique businesses and we personally do not view ourselves as one company, many times, most especially online, we are lumped as one entity under the heading of LBS. (Local Bead Store).  When one of us behaves unethically and/or breaks the law, we all suffer a bit for it.  Very unfair, but life isn’t always fair, is it?

While I am proud to be an LBS owner for over 28 years now, I am not proud of how some other LBS owners conduct their business.  Nor do I wish to be viewed under the same umbrella as some of them.  Most importantly during the past few weeks when it has been brought to my attention the blatant theft that some store owners are inflicting upon beading designers. 

Stealing their patterns and teaching them in your shops.  And yes, it is stealing.  The excuses have ranged from, *A customer wore it into the shop and I asked if I could teach it*.  Really?  Did you ask the customer if he/she designed it first?
Or, *It’s just more advertising for the designer*.  No, photocopying their pattern is NOT advertising, it is theft.  Ask their permission first, they may just give it to you.  Or…shocker!  You may have to pay them something for their time!!  You know, like you expect your customers to pay you for the beads they walk out the door with!

The latest excuse has just really upset me, *Our patterns reflect a minimum of 20% change as required by American Copyright Law.* Really?  Where does it say that anywhere? 
If you’re going to take it upon yourself to educate others, maybe you should make sure you know what you’re talking about first.
I don’t want to waste my time here debating the interpretation of copyright laws.  That horse has sadly been beaten beyond recognition.  But suffice it to say that anyone with the ability to read can determine that there is no such law, or addendum to the law, or modification of the law that allows a change of any percentage to make something that somebody else created now yours.  Get real!  And stop making excuses for your theft. 
Actually, this final excuse is so see-through it is almost painful.  It proves that this shop owner knew he/she was taking something that didn’t belong to them and intentionally altering it trying to cover up their illegal and most definitely unethical behavior. 
Not only do I not wish to be viewed in the same category as someone who behaves that way, I don’t want to even be mentioned in the same sentence.

Please, fellow bead store owners.  Be respectful of these designers!  Without them your customers do not have new ideas to create, new innovative designs to be inspired by.

If someone came into your shop and just took things from you how long do you think you would remain in business?  How about if they just picked and picked and picked at you constantly from all directions, walking in daily and just pocketing a little of this and little of that….right under your nose!

Would you be able to stay in business long with someone constantly stealing from you?
Would you wake up each day feeling less and less like it is worth it to keep trying?
Would you feel hurt that others on Planet Bead care so little about your well-being?

Why would you treat someone else on our small planet the same way?

And are you aware that within a very short amount of time 100’s if not 1000’s of people who share the love of beads will hear about what a jerk you are?

The bottom line is that if you want to teach these beautiful designs that are created by someone else, just ask them!  Maybe they can work out a trade with you, a beader ALWAYS needs beads!  Or maybe they will just have a small fee to charge you for each student.  Or maybe they can come up with a set amount and you can support them while they support you.

There are so many ways to do this the right way and not a single reason other than ignorance and greed to do it the wrong way. 

I am begging you all to be respectful of one another.  To be supportive of one another.  Our industry is struggling enough as it is.  If we can care for each other, respect each other we will survive.  If we continue to take from each other this way we will all lose.  Don’t let that happen.  Do the right thing!

If you are an ethically run shop, Sabine Lippert from http://www.trytobead.de/ has designed this awesome label you can display on your website:

See what I mean about how giving someone can be when you treat them well?

Thank You Birthday Buddy!

Years ago on the All About Beads forum we started exchanging birthday gifts with each other.  This past year, Wendy (who took over the task of keeping this organized for me a few years back), also brought the offer to Facebook.  I’m not sure how many peeps ended up signing up, but I am hoping more of you have been able to enjoy this wonderful event. 

The idea is that you get a little bit of information about your Birthday Buddy and then you find something (or things) you think they might like and secretly send it to them by their birthday.  It is always so wonderful to get a gift from someone you may or may not really know but you do know they put some thought into picking something out to gift to you.


I know I love sending my Birthday Buddy a gift just as much as I love receiving mine!

Anywho, my B4B gift arrived and it is amazing!

• I got a beautiful box filled with all kinds of wonderfulness!
• Godiva Truffles
• A piece of gorgeous slinky, silky fabric
• A beautiful  embroidered and sequined zippered bag with some lovely deep purply-blue pearls in it.
• A piece of beeswax.
• Dragonfly stickers and rub-ons
• An Almond Meltaway bar called Seroogy's (a hint?)
• A little purple felted and beaded star from an Alpaca Ranch in Wisconsin (another hint?)
  It came on a card with a picture of cute little Alpaca that says:
  Fiber Donor: Timateo
  A loner, gentle and mellow.  Can often be found grazing at the far side of the pasture.   
• A purple satin bag with a lovely tassel and a dragonfly button inside.
• Two kinds of loose leaf tea…one of them smells a little chocolately!
• A little purple unicorn (sooo cute!).  I think I'm going to put him in my car so I can see him every day!
• A gorgeous mermaid hanging ornament that is going on my wall today!
• A glass tile with a dragonfly on it.  Putting this one in my kitchen by the sink.
• Some Tila beads (my poor buddy said in the card that he/she struggled with what to buy for a bead store owner.  But please know, I love any bead whether I already own them or not!)
• A plastic compartment box with some blown and lampwork beads in it. They are so beautiful...maybe they'll go in a charm bracelet!
• A pretty little bottle filled with sparkly crystals.  What beader doesn't love a bottle filled with crystals!
• Two sweet little boxes that are going in one of the cubbies in my desk that has more little wee boxes. (what is it about tiny boxes that makes me so happy?)
• And a beautiful card wishing me a Happy Birthday!

Well, birthday buddy…let me tell you, you have most certainly made my day extra special!  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your attention and your generosity with this gift.  I can feel the love!

And I cannot wait to find out who you are!  In the meantime, huge virtual hugs from me!

Testing out PayPal

We're asked often if we accept PayPal as a form of payment for orders.  The answer has always been YES!  But our shopping cart didn't offer a good feature for using it.  Because we have a retail store as well as do shows often it is near impossible to keep the stock on the website accurately updated.
If we applied the "Pay with PayPal" feature that our cart did offer it would link people directly to PayPal as soon as they finalized their orders.  Not good if something was out of stock!

We've decided to give it a try our way.  Our customers can now select PayPal from the drop-down menu of payment options and then after we've filled their order and adjusted the invoice we'll send them a message with a link to PayPal.  Hoping it works out well for everyone who has been wanting to use this payment option!

And as a bonus, we've decided to draw names, one per week over the next three weeks, for anyone who uses this payment option and gift them with a $50 gift certificate!!

Good luck to those of you who participate!  Please visit our website to participate!

Where’d you come up with that name?

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been asked this question over the past 26 years of being in business.  And sometimes I wish I had a reply that started with. “After much thought….”  LOL

We opened our store with Shawn’s Mom, Lynn, in 1986.  She had always wanted to own a gift boutique, but didn’t have much experience with retail sales on that level.  I had tons.  So she offered to loan me $1200 and I could rent some space in the shop to sell beads.  We found a cute little house in downtown Cotati that was perfect for our needs!  It was just ½ a block off the main street, had a working kitchen, a fenced in backyard and a large back room so I could keep my kids with me during the day instead of putting them into daycare.  The front had a large room when you walked in.  This is where Lynn set up her shop, and then a small room off to the side where I set up my bead store!

Here is an image of the old shop.  It's a frame shop now.

But before we got to that point we had to come up with a business name.  Talk about a near impossible task!  We of course wanted something catchy and fun but nothing that would be too specific (although, now it would be nice to have the word beads in my official business name).  We read every album title we both owned, Lynn really wanted to name the store “Feelin’ Groovy” after the song made famous by Simon & Garfunkel.  While I loved the song, I thought the name might deter a few people from coming in to see what we were about.  The night before the final date that our business license needed to be submitted so we could open on schedule we all stayed up late tossing about names in the hopes that something would stick.  I was exhausted and had gotten to that silly place where you just giggle over nothing.  As Lynn said words, Shawn would look them up in a Thesaurus to see if anything sounded good.  Lynn said “Fanciful” and one of the words was “Whimsical”.  I tried to talk like Elmer Fudd (remember I was exhausted!  LOL) and said, “Out On A Whim”  playing off the title of Shirley MacLaine’s book titled Out On A Limb.  After days and days of us tossing about words, phrases, names we all got silent for a moment and Lynn proclaimed, “THAT’S IT!  OUT ON A WHIM!”  And so the business name was born.  We were both going into business on a whim, so it seemed a perfect fit!

Sadly, just 1 ½ years into it Lynn passed away suddenly.  I am happy she got to experience her dream of owning her own eclectic gift shop.  I just wish it had been for much longer!

I kept the bead store open and grew to take over both of the rooms in the front of the little house and then eventually when my kids all started school we moved across the street to the retail location we’ve been in now for 18+ years. 

Here's an image of the shop when we first moved across the street to the location we're still in now.

When it came time to start our website, I searched for Out On A Whim as a URL but it had already been taken by a novelty shop from Alabama.  So we added beads to the name and Whimbeads.com was born!

We’ve spent a lot of time trying to brand the URL because it is not easy having two business names, but for the most part folks are able to find us!

So, that’s the story of how we got our business name!  And I love that walk down memory lane remembering Lynn and how she helped us get started!